Socialist Workless Party

UK politics is far calmer today than it once was. Just look at the current government; a Conservative-Lib Dem coalition that functions quite well and where disagreements in ideology have been successfully ironed out in the interests of the country. Similarly, the political mainstream continues to drift ever closer to the centre, leaving extremist parties like the British National Party marginalised. Personally, I find this to be a good thing; the more people abhor them, the harder it becomes for them to get a political voice at all.

One party I particularly despise is the Socialist Workers' Party - a Marxist party -, which manages to spout its useless crap at every possible opportunity. Of late, they've made a big deal out of the spending cuts, talking of "united action" (strikes) as if it still has the power to initiate them. Truth be told, the days of polarised and violent political conflict - aka the 1970s - is over, and a combination of internal doctrinal disputes and a lack of societal need for such a party in these increasingly centrist times has left the SWP fragmented, smaller and redundant. Today, watching an SWP protest is like watching a car crash in slow motion.

I recently watched a video of an SWP rally last October; they were staging a protest outside of the 2010 Tory party conference. It was raining. The SWP were outside, in the rain, shouting. The Tories were inside, dry, and couldn't hear them. Similarly, the idea that the Tories, of all parties, care about this lunatic fringe party is laughable. But the actual content of the speeches are the true comedy gold. In this particular instance, the speaker was a middle class woman doing a paltry job of adopting a working class accent to match her clothing and aggressive demeanour.

One particular favourite of mine was "cut the private sector, not the public sector". Clearly, this woman didn't think her statement through. First, the government cannot 'cut' the private sector - because it is private and therefore does not receive any government funding to be cut. The only equivalent would be heavy taxation. Similarly, they seem totally oblivious to the need to reduce the state deficit; how do they propose we do it? Centrally planned economy, as the wish to create? A party that doesn't understand the difference between public and private is, as far as I'm concerned, unfit to run a centrally planned economy (a dismal idea as it is). Instead, the moronic speaker proclaimed herself a "deficit denier". Thus we see the downside of state education.

The calls for "united action" were cheered on by the foolish few at the rally, but of course the SWP - its heyday having passed long ago - was totally and rightly ignored in this respect.

But my favourite of all the oxymoronic statements by this archaic demagogue was "we, the workers". Those at the rally, and those who regularly attend the other SWP rallies, were, at midday in the middle of the working week, standing outside a Tory conference a shouting. Last time I checked, this was neither a profession or a part of any other job. I suggest that these so-called workers, if they're angry with their lot, go and either get a job or, if they already have one, actually turn up to it. I'm sure then they'd find this is a way of getting an income. Then again, I imagine most SWP members and supporters are benefit parasites anyway.

These days, the SWP is continuing its long decline. Senior members resign, one by one, because of laughable, inconsequential doctrinal disagreements, leaving the party ever smaller. The only regret I'll have when the SWP eventually succumbs to common sense is that a very valuable part of the British comedy scene will be gone. Other than that, it's good riddance to loud, aggressive, nonsensical rubbish.